Grappling with a sense that I was irrevocably lost—endeavoring to furnish an identity from the bits of my life that remained, and interrogating the beliefs and assumptions I had so long taken for granted—I hoped to discover some enduring truth on which I could ground my soul.
We process everything around us through our senses. The visual process starts by scanning the stimulus in front of us—coalescing them into a meaningful picture within our mind—but the ways and means with which we perceive the world so often determines what we see. Thus, if we intend to share something singular with the world, novel measures are required.
Having fled war and being forced to surrender all I had cherished, I refused to assume the role of war victim I felt society had assigned me. However, given the sheer upheaval inherent to me departing from the only life I had ever known, the rejection of this identity demanded a reckoning of me with myself.. This sojourn started with a profound inquisition--questioning everything from the time when I was swimming within my mother’s womb—feebly trying to decipher meaning within a life of which I was poised to become a part—to the time in which I created this series, where I was similarly wandering around this planet, being fed an endless stream of stimulus and yet no closer to finding answers to those initial quest.
Dissatisfied with the tools at my disposal and yearning to find a new medium with which to document this saliently challenging chapter in the my evolution as a person and artist, I turned to scanning. The unparalleled precision inherent to scanning technology and its near total absence from the art scene at that time, at once represented the ultimate vehicle to embark upon a new journey and process in uncanny detail, my former. I wanted to see more—more color, more detail, more nuance and more depth… To dive deep and take stock of whatever I found there. The more detail I was able to capture, the more acceptance I could bring to this journey, the further I could let go, the greater my capacity would be for surrendering to some underlying truth on which I could rebuild my life.
In the scanning of each fish, one by one, these questions were given form. Laid bare in absurd clarity, these fish at once personified the fragile state of my addled spirit and provided me a uniquely vulnerable medium upon which to wrestle with who I had been, who I could no longer be and whatever I might become. Thus, each fish represents a puzzling pilgrimage into that sacred space where my conscious and subconscious selves commune. The value of their exploits however, will be up to you to decide.